Monday, October 26, 2009

Worst. Month. Evah.

Is mercury in retrograde? Is it Karma? Maybe a personal jihad on me by some jilted lover that has mercilessly appealed to the resources of the nation of Islam? Allow me to elaborate:

- Was rear-ended by this guy, who doesn't want to go through insurance, but caused my car $581 worth of damage

- Jury duty Nov. 9th-???

- Certain cable network may not pick up certain show my certain company has been blood, sweat, and tearing over for so long

- My new apartment has termites, they have to fumigate or find a way that doesn't force us to move out

- My credit card debt and loans to repay are starting to make me look like certain siblings which I promised myself I'd never make similar financial decisions as

- Furniture I purchased for the apartment is too big, trying to resell on Craigslist. Hoping to recoup some $$ but most likely won't at all

- Personal issues in my head that could probably psychokinetically harness some Carrie-caliber power and burn down a gym full of children

- I don't have a direct access to a puppy.

Sad. Panda.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

When Will Dumb Hicks Get Out of Politics?

Dear Readers,

I don't really give a shit at this point in our country's history if people view me as a "liberal elite," because these are the same people that value not teaching evolution in schools, and therefore should not be allowed to run for public office. But there is another news story (one of hundreds in the past month - don't get me started on Birthers or Death Panels) that is just a perfect example of why I'm sick of ignorant, religious people in this country.

Gov. Mark Sanford of S.C. is in NO position to be criticizing potential replacements for his position, let alone in the personal sexuality department, but what disgusts me is that people think he is starting a "smear campaign" against his potential predecessor - Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer - of being gay. And? And is therefore not fit to run? What is that?!

The news broke this week when a Sanford's camp referenced a blog, popular for outing conservative politicians (love that premise, btw), that wrote up Andre Bauer, confirming stories from men who have had "relations" with him. Regardless of someone being outed, it seems only in the socially-retarded Deep South that this would be considered a reason someone is unfit to hold public office.

The most painful part of this story? Republican State Sen. Jake Knotts, an ally of Bauer's, came to his defense with this reprehensible quote:

"I have known Andre since he was eight years old," Knotts told CNN. "Ain't a homosexual bone in his body. That boy is a good boy. It's a just an attempt to prevent Andre from become governor."

Firstly, "Ain't" Jake? Really? You're a State Senator for Chrissake. Secondly, you defend him like someone called him a child pornographer, protesting that no, no, he really is a good boy! You can be gay and be good. Although you Christians, ever the neighbor-loving tolerant folk that you are, sure make it hard for gays to live their own lives without a fight. Finally, you are not helping the eventual situation of when Bauer is formally outed (because, let's face it, he probs is gay) by saying that such an accusation is reasonable grounds to prevent him from assuming the position of governor.

It makes me wish the government did have death panels, I'd sign up to oversee a few of them myself. I'm looking at you, Michele Bachmann.

Bowtie,

Bowtie

Monday, August 3, 2009

A Future Intern?

Dear Readers,

It appears this "what's with kids these days" epidemic is worse than previously thought. Is this Bronx woman serious? CNN reports...


NEW YORK (CNN) -- A recent college graduate is suing her alma mater for $72,000 -- the full cost of her tuition and then some -- because she cannot find a job.

Trina Thompson has sued her alma mater, Monroe College of New York.

Trina Thompson, 27, of the Bronx, graduated from New York's Monroe College in April with a bachelor of business administration degree in information technology.

On July 24, she filed suit against the college in Bronx Supreme Court, alleging that Monroe's "Office of Career Advancement did not help me with a full-time job placement. I am also suing them because of the stress I have been going through."

The college responded that it offers job-search support to all its students.

In her complaint, Thompson says she seeks $70,000 in reimbursement for her tuition and $2,000 to compensate for the stress of her three-month job search.

As Thompson sees it, any reasonable employer would pounce on an applicant with her academic credentials, which include a 2.7 grade-point average and a solid attendance record. But Monroe's career-services department has put forth insufficient effort to help her secure employment, she claims.

"They're supposed to say, 'I got this student, her attendance is good, her GPA is all right -- can you interview this person?' They're not doing that," she said.

Thompson said she has fulfilled her end of the job-search bargain, peppering companies listed on Monroe's e-recruiting site with cover letters, résumés and phone calls. But no more than two employers have responded to her outreach, and those leads have borne no fruit.

Her complaint adds, "The office of career advancement information technology counselor did not make sure their Monroe e-recruiting clients call their graduates that recently finished college for an interview to get a job placement. They have not tried hard enough to help me."

She suggested that Monroe's Office of Career Advancement shows preferential treatment to students with excellent grades. "They favor more toward students that got a 4.0. They help them more out with the job placement," she said.

Monroe College released a statement saying that "while it is clear that no college, especially in this economy, can guarantee employment, Monroe College remains committed to working with all its students, including Ms. Thompson, who graduated only three months ago, to prepare them for careers and to support them during their job search."

Thompson says she has not hired an attorney to represent her because she cannot afford one. When she filed her complaint, she also filed a "poor person order," which exempts her from filing fees associated with the lawsuit.

Asked whether she would advise other college graduates facing job woes to sue their alma maters, Thompson said yes.

"It doesn't make any sense: They went to school for four years, and then they come out working at McDonald's and Payless. That's not what they planned."

I mean, if anybody does a Google search on this broad before hiring her and this comes up, there's no way they'll want to hire a litigious, mediocre student. So stupid, though I do applaud (and laugh at) her attempt to file a "poor person order" in lieu of a formal lawsuit.

Maybe she can be my next intern...

Bowtie,

Bowtie

Friday, July 31, 2009

Well, Now I've Seen It All...

Dear Readers,

WHY?!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-q4kZDIfk0

Bowtie,

Bowtie

Friday, July 17, 2009

5 Things that Made Me Laugh This Week (Vol. 2)

Dear Readers,

Again, it's time to address the hilarious and wondrous things that the internets and teevee have gifted us this week!

1. Collar clips to keep those darn collars from popping up off the shoulders of the salmon threaded-clad douchebag. Great ad by Miller.


2. Appalling racism in a 1980's informational video - not even sure what it's about, a harsh warning on the consequences of perms perhaps? Regardless, I'm flummoxed by the dialogue.

3. Lindsay Lohan being sued for stealing the formula for a spray tan and marketing it as her own. How humiliating that the first big suit against you is for something as ridiculous as spray tan! That's like a porcelain veneer company suing Paris Hilton. Oh, and how I wish they would.

4. Finding out my UCB teacher David was in this video. AND this one.

5. The fact that the below dog even exists, and that its name is Josh.


Happy weekend!

Bowtie,

Bowtie

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Positive Exposure - the Documentary

Dear Readers,

My friend Rachel Pikelny now works for Kartemquin Films and has a personal message to share about a special project she is working on right now, so listen up! (or, rather, read up!)

Dear friends and family,

As many of you may know, I am both thrilled and proud to now be working at Kartemquin Films, one of the longest-running and most prestigious documentary companies in the world. Kartemquin's documentaries (including its best-known film, "Hoop Dreams") have won prizes at festivals throughout the world and have been broadcast nationally and internationally. Kartemquin brings the study of humanity to film by making documentaries that investigate and critique society through the lives of real people.

I'd like to tell you about an exciting project that I will be co-producing. “Positive Exposure” will follow former fashion photographer Rick Guidotti (www.positiveexposure.org) as he skillfully employs his lens to redefine beauty by photographing children who are often relegated to the shadows because of elongated limbs, cleft palates, facial markings, lack of pigmentation, and other differences that make some turn their heads. His images are not the grotesque medical studies of the past; they are celebrations of life.

Through his amazing work, Rick Guidotti is redefining beauty. Our film will have a enormous educational component, especially in middle and high schools, sensitizing youth to difference. In a society obsessed with perfection and body image, Rick’s images and the words of his young subjects will challenge the way their “normal” counterparts see and experience difference and disability.

I truly believe in this project, its message, and its power to stimulate positive change. This is why I am writing to you for your attention and help.

We are desperately seeking funding to get this project on its feet. We will use these initial development funds to travel to two genetic disease conferences this summer in order to create a demo reel that will convey to our future funders and distribution partners the far-reaching benefits Rick Guidotti’s work has on the disability community. We will also use the funds to travel with Rick this fall to Africa, where he is using his photography to fight widespread discrimination and prejudice against the Albino population.

I realize that most of you are not in a position to give at this time. However, I ask that you please pass along this information to anyone you may know who might have a personal connection to this film -- the parent of a special needs child... a friend with a disability... or anyone else who might be interested and in a position to make a donation to this important project.

Thank you so much for reading this long email. And thank you for any help you can send our way!

So if you have interest in this project in any way, let me know and I'll put you in contact with Rachel. Thanks!

Bowtie,

Bowtie

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Applicant FAIL!

Ok, you guys, really? REALLY??

If you're applying for the position as an assistant to our President, chances are we're going to cyberstalk to vet you. And if this is one of the first google matches that comes up for you - HOLY ISH - you are screwed in this town. Or any town. Or industry. Chances are this video will impede your professional aspirations in general.

Good luck shakin' that booooootaayyyyy. Idiot.

Bowtie,

Bowtie.